THE ACT OF FORGIVING
The good news is that forgiveness is an act of the will, even when unforgiving feelings and memories still linger. Martin Padovani, a counsellor with more than 20 years of experience and author of ‘Healing Wounded Emotions’ states that ‘the act of forgiveness is just that: an act; it’s a decision.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. …Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.
Forgiveness is for our own growth and happiness. When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment, and anger it harms us far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness frees us to live in the present. … Forgiveness allows us to move on without anger or contempt or seeking revenge.
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” ~ Alexander Pope
Enjoy your life, laugh again and see wonderful qualities in others, this is the benefit you receive when you forgive! You also lose judgment. Judging another is one of the lowest energies.
“Do not rush to judge someone unless his/her fruits reveal the truth. However, don’t forget; mostly, it’s not the fault of the tree to produce bitter fruits. Sometimes, the soil determines that; blame the source! Deal with the soil! Don’t deal with the tree! Other trees are there that the same soil can influence! Don’t deal with your enemy, deal with the satan that sponsors them!”
Refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Remember the good times spent together and the beautiful future you both dreamt of. Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you. Don’t judge. Behind every person, there’s always a reason why they are the way they are.
No one is perfect, we all just trying to be better and we should learn to understand our differences. Because that is just a way to flow better with one another. Life is beautiful when we understand love and learn the act of forgiving.
What is meant for you will always be, it’s just a matter of time. So no matter the hurt or how we think we have being hurt let’s learn to listen, forgive and move on. We all learn from our mistakes. But forgiving is being at peace.
No matter the situation, never act or conclude out of anger. Even if you do, try to still bridge the gaps. Forgive out of love because God also forgives us. That’s why in our Lord’s Prayer it was written that “Forgive us our trespasses even as we forgive those who trespass against us”.
Let love abound and let forgiveness be imbedded within all.
Before judging someone, let’s ask ourselves this questions:
1. Is your opinion the truth?
2. Does it matter?
3. Are your words, thoughts and actions purposeful or beneficial?
4. Do you have compassion?
5. Am I approaching this issue as a self-righteous bigot, or am I offering truth as one who is equally in need of God’s transforming grace?
Question to ask yourself in order to forgive:
1. What is forgiveness?
2. How often must I forgive?
3. Are there any sins committed against me which I don’t have to forgive?
4. Must I forgive if the person offending me isn’t sorry?
5. Must I forgive if a person continues to hurt me?
6. How do I forgive?
7. How quickly must I forgive?
8. How do I forgive myself?
9. How do I know if I have forgiven?
10. What does it mean to truly love someone without forgiveness?